Saturday, December 7, 2013

The Second House

My father had an extremely intense stellium of planets (Saturn, Mars and Pluto in Leo) that sat in my natal 2nd house, just opposite my 8th house moon in Aquarius.  My study of astrology helped me to understand the complex within him and how I carried a similar complex of energy.

My father had a great fear of poverty.  He was driven to succeed in what seemed to be a means to an end for the mere acquisition of wealth for himself.  At the age of 12, I recall his going on long business trips for his high executive level 300K a year, all the while leaving my mother with poverty level allowances to support me and my brother.  He saw his family as parasites that put a strain on his  wealth.

Material wealth is only an illusory means through which we can create authentic value.  Without contribution to the people of our lives, material wealth is only a cancer.

On the positive side, my father was insanely jealous of my personal nonconformist will and willingness to embrace my inner value which I always knew had nothing to do with anything that I physically had or inherited.  My early possessions of value, a photographic memory, psychic ability, intuitive knowing, developed subjective perspective and empathic nature, were all acquired over time by efforts throughout many lifetimes.  They were possessions of my soul.

My father wanted to instill in me the value of hard work that must be enacted in order to acquire necessary possessions.  I recall anytime he ever took me out to a store, he would remind me to "Never ask him for anything", and seemed to resent that my mother would ever give me anything that, according to his consciousness set, I didn't earn.

From here I can move into a number of directions regarding depth symbolism here, as the jealousy of a father for the love and respect of a mother is not much different at all from the jealousy of a sibling for the parents, the jealousy of a friend for the attention of a man or woman, or the jealousy of one man over another for his karmic set of circumstances that seem to give him better luck or more love from an unseen source.  This "source" in all of these cases is the Anima and or the Animus.  However, I will do my best to stay focused as much as possible on 2nd house emphasis.

What my father lacks in this case is an awareness of the soul level acquisition, however given the ever present polarity of the 8th house, there is always an awareness that loss may be right around the corner. It is natural for us to hold onto our primary possession....our body; our ego; who we perceive ourselves to be.  There is a part of me that feels deeply that the gifts that I, Bill Walker have, are gifts from the universal source of all that is, and that if I do not use them that it will be especially tragic as I meet my death.  Herein lies the unconscious feeling of guilt unto the feminine, or anima, for not meeting the collective need.  For destroying the trust instilled in each of us by virtue of the fact that we were each born, and each of us born with an energy of which it is our responsibility to give to our collective soul.  As I said earlier, without this contribution, the possessions whether soul or material level, can be much like a cancer.   My fathers attempt at wealth accumulation was an attempt to fight this aspect, the unconscious feminine.  It was unconscious desire to gain the Anima's love and trust through hard work, and to see the result of this devotion earned.  It was unconscious desire to take on the role of the Anima through a lack of trust regarding ones place in the collective body; to self nurture by amassing enough security to assure that hard times could never take too much of a toll.

Bringing the focus back onto myself, I too have faced a similar fear and challenge as my father.  I found myself worrying that my children's lack of focus or mindfulness regarding basic life skills would hurt their ability to draw to themselves the energy they needed to ultimately plant the seeds of the Self within the collective body, i.e., to freely express the authentic self without the restraint that comes with lack of resources or financial struggle.

The "work" that my father and I often projected should be directed to its appropriate place.  Much of this work is intuitive and subjective.  It is submersion into the pool of authentic value, followed by the creative means through which material possessions may be used to express the self, and further, to add value to the collective soul THROUGH the individual.  While at times I would find myself being my father by worrying about my children's ability to meet collective expectations, I had ways of expressing the opposite in order to help my kids embrace their true possessions.  I found myself very emotional regarding my son's attachment to toys as a source of satiation.  I hated it when the grandparents would take them out and get them all the material things that they wanted.  This was the positive side of my father that, although fully unconscious in him, did help me to find my satiation in the inner realm.  I wanted to free my children from the problem I see with so many children and people of all ages these days, and that is that when they have a NEED, that they associate that need with something outside of themselves that can meet that need.  I wanted my children to find the gems of their own inner creative consciousness, and meet their needs for play through that instead of wanting or needing a new toy from Walmart or Target.

When this is all truly examined, it is a silly notion that the accumulation of wealth is relative to one's ability to be who they are.  On one hand, material wealth is meant to be used for the creation and expression of one's authentic spirituality.  However and ironically, it is often through the crisis of material loss that many ever catch a glimpse of who they truly are on this level.  There are both materially rich and poor people who are very centered within their spiritual and authentic value, as well as both rich and poor that are far removed from it.  Determining whether a person is truly centered within their own authentic value in the face of a collective which projects upon them material value, is a  complex issue.  The 2nd house in ones natal chart is where we can find emphasis on a soul's need to embrace Self Worth.  There are many factors that may determine whether an abundance of material wealth may surround one with people that only value them for the surface material and not what is on the inside, or whether a soul will try and try again to climb a corporate ladder or achieve something for someone else's sake, and continue to fail until they fully embrace their own.  Both of these extremes demonstrate a disconnect; somewhat of a loneliness, that manifests itself in the flow of resources from the collective to the individual, or vice versa.  However, if we take the above example of the child's desire for a toy, we see a collective that so desperately wants to be needed by the individual, and at the same time a child that so desperately wants to be needed by the collective.  We do not have a healthy flow in this regard, as we live in a society where people are dependent on a collective at the expense of their own personal wealth, and at the same time a collective that is dependent on people that function at this level to keep it running the way it is.  And why?  Because the few that control the economy today are afraid of losing their own wealth.  Because the many are in need of a massive transformation of their values.  Material wealth does not add to our inner riches, and on the other hand, collective obsession with this is distraction and a symptom of a society detached from its spirit and the wealth of the soul.

A healthy 2nd house starts with the energy within that is a result of the souls cumulative lifetimes of acquisition.  The soul ultimately becomes aware that all embodied experiences are an opportunity for the soul to acquire something of worth, and add his/her own value to it, giving back to the collective body and thereby making the collective body richer because of it.  What is the great worth that lies within you?  The ability to heal others?  The ability to build structures that makes it easier for us to live and grow food?  A special attunement to nature and the ability to teach others how to live more in harmony with it?  A special attunement for art and music, and the ability to keep others in touch with the energies that unite us all?  The 2nd house is a part of the subjective realm of the wheel in which we must be reminded that everything that we need we already have, and through each experience whether rich or poor, we have an opportunity to transform ourselves and others into a healthy body that values first and foremost the spirit within us.

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